Defining moments are what make leaders great. They help us become more authentic leaders. They reveal, they test, and they ultimately shape the people we become.
In my book The Humanized Leader, I wrote about how leaders everywhere are at a defining moment for employee experience. The complete upheaval we’ve been experiencing has increased the need for more emotionally intelligent leadership, and leaders who can support employees as they weather crises and navigate unprecedented upheaval.
But humanized leadership doesn’t end with EQ, and an enhanced awareness of how we and others are feeling – although it does start with that. It also requires us to think about what communication skills we must master, and how we put those skills into practice.
Here are three things to keep in mind as you work to improve how you communicate effectively as a leader in these challenging times:
Caring and curiosity
Communication is rich and effective when people feel assured that you have their best interests at heart.
Caring means, “I suspend my need to be first, loudest, and most important and instead include or yield to you.”
Meanwhile, curiosity means that I genuinely want to know what’s on your mind, and why you think the way you do – or make the choices that you do. Not to find fault, but instead to connect and build relationships.
Listening well
When you lead with caring and curiosity, ask questions, and listen, you build the highest levels of trust with those you lead.
But the way you listen is important. I’m talking about listening with your whole being.
Wholehearted listening elevates the conversations you have with the people whose opinions matter most to you, because you’re listening with your body, mind, and heart. Being present to what comes up, creating safety with your physical state, quieting your mind, and letting your intuition guide you.
It pays to listen, and it pays to listen well.
Open-ended questions
Another way that you can ensure people feel heard and validated is by asking open-ended questions. In other words, asking the types of questions that will elicit the information you need to make valuable changes, or do your job even better.
Listening becomes supercharged when you master the skill of asking open-ended questions. A well-placed question invites the other person to open up, helps you clarify things, and deepens the conversation by creating emotional safety.
A couple of my favorite open-ended questions include one from Michael Bungay Stanier in The Coaching Habit, when he recommends the key question for your arsenal, “And what else?” You can also try an invitational command, such as, “Tell me more.”
When you commit to curiosity, refuse to make assumptions, and listen to understand, you show your employees that you care, and create safe spaces in which trust is built and answers you might not have considered before are uncovered for the first time.
How might you use the defining moment we find ourselves in to create an open and honest culture that improves the employee experience inside your organization? Tell me in the comments.
