All people have a default pattern of communication behavior. When you are not thinking or not actively looking to influence or connect, you just show up the way you are. However, your default communication style may not get you want you desire. This is especially true when your style is diametrically opposed to another’s. Communication…
To understand accountability is to take a giant leap forward in understanding Emotionally Intelligent Leadership. Accountability is defined as the quality of being answerable to another for actions taken. You can answer to yourself or can answer to another individual or group. At the core of it, a promise is made: You agree to answer…
We teach people how to treat us. This is especially harmful when we throw on our hero cape and step in front of a natural consequence which is about to occur for someone else. First Scenario: Rainstorm is about to arrive and the bikes are outside. Thought Process: It’s so much easier for you to…
There were torrential downpours last week in the area of the U.S. which I live. Spring showers on steroids, it poured and poured. I love the rain and I love a good thunderstorm. So I was feeling cozy in my house with a quick check of the basement to make sure it was dry, and…
I love to watch the flight attendants when I fly. The ability to provide efficient and quick service while maintaining friendliness and watchfulness reminds me of a well-orchestrated ballet. On a recent flight from San Diego to Chicago, I was watching one particular attendant as she took care of the requisite drink orders. When delivery…
Feel What You Feel Can you remember the last time you lashed out at someone (probably someone close to you) and the lashing had nothing to do with the present situation? Can you remember the last time someone had an over-the-top reaction to you and you wondered where in the world that came from? To…
Celebrating Mother’s Day last weekend I bowed in reverence to the juggling act of motherhood. Mothers (and inspired leaders) are skilled at managing everything from multiple schedules to financial planning; from creating visions (usually for your children!) to trusting that the course correction is for the best; from standing up to small-minded teachers and celebrating with those who really get…
Leadership is the art of getting things done through people. Nowhere is this more in the spotlight than in service or retail. That is why learning about and managing our emotions and learning…
Be aware of what you are tolerating. Early in my coaching career, I was privileged to take several courses from Thomas Leonard who is regarded as the father of the modern coaching movement. One course, “Become a Toleration Free Zone,” was a literal eye-opener and has been a through line in much of my client…
While supporting a friend to create a communication strategy around a tricky subject that was rife with emotional triggers, I remember her saying, “Until I have scoured every inch of my side of the street to see what is mine to own, I can’t have a conversation.” This is leadership at its finest – the…