The Three C’s – A Leadership Secret Weapon

I’ve long been a fan of alliteration, and often think about leadership and Emotional Intelligence (otherwise known as emotional quotient or EQ) in terms of the alphabet. 

When I contemplate leadership, many “C” words came crashing into my consciousness. Commitment.  Connection. Critical-thinking. Command. Control. Conversation. All great words.

As these Cs began to take shape, three words emerged as a triumvirate formula for powerful leadership, creating a Leadership Secret Weapon.

To be effective today and have impact across generations, cultures and mind-sets, leaders must possess, practice and master Courage, Compassion and Curiosity.

Real Leadership requires COURAGE

Susan Pearce once said, “When you accept the invitation to be a real leader, you are accepting the condition of feeling uncomfortable. Every single day. At the basic level, the definition of a leader is someone who goes first.”

In these unprecedented times, we’re all learning to be more comfortable with discomfort. And we’re also developing the kind of deep self-awareness that allows us to bravely propel ourselves forward into the unknown, even when things feel uncertain. We’re flexing our courage muscles like never before.

Courage asks that you look fear squarely in the face. Fear shows up in all kinds of ways – self-doubt, indecision, a lack of communication, going along with the crowd. But this is all behavior that keeps us squarely inside our comfort zones, protected behind the bunker with our heads hidden in the sand.

Our current new normal requires that we leave our comfort zones entirely. It’s worth remembering that every time we do, we expand our capacity to lead. 

Fear doesn’t need to keep you stuck in one place.

Remember, there are tangible benefits for practicing courageous behavior. When we accept that we might fail, we can more easily experiment with the possibilities, pivot quickly, and have more conversations that matter. 

Courage also demands intelligence. Calculated risks rooted in experimentation over time, data from decision-making, and keenly understanding both your (and your organization’s) values and priorities.

Just like Peter Drucker said, “Wherever you see a successful business, someone once made a courageous decision.”

Real Leadership demands CURIOSITY

Curiosity shows up as the willingness to ask questions and then listen, genuinely seeking feedback and input from team members, surfacing assumptions, admitting mistakes, and navigating the complexities.

Those who aren’t prepared to pursue curiosity are in danger of finding themselves and their workplaces ill-equipped to succeed in the future of work. 

Curiosity and Courage go hand in hand, and often enjoy similar benefits: Curiosity surfaces hidden agendas, contentious opinions, and conflict with openness and without judgment.

Curious leaders create breakthroughs in community by challenging the status quo. By involving other people in the decision-making process, networks are built, disparate ideas are synthesized, and trust is built.

• Curious leaders listen without agenda and are okay being wrong.
• Open-ended questions without a pre-conceived outcome are their friends.
• They promote experimentation, questioning the legacy and surfacing the new, no matter where the idea comes from.

All of this is done in the spirit of adventure, of discovery, of wonder and with suspended judgment. This is the old Star-Trek mantra of “boldly going where no one has gone before”. The sense of adventure is palpable.

To become more curious, suspend your assumptions and ask great open-ended questions. Then, listen in the spirit of the student in order to learn and expand.

“Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers.”
Voltaire

Real leadership models COMPASSION

I like how Jeff Weiner of LinkedIn summed it up in 2016 Business Insider article, “Compassion” (is) understanding that their team members don’t necessarily see the world in the same way they do, and then making an effort to listen and understand rather than dictate”.

It takes self-awareness to be able to show up with compassion. Compassion has traditionally been viewed as weakness in corporate America. With the visibility of compassionate leaders such as Jeff Weiner of LinkedIn and the spotlight on mindfulness that we are witnessing in many corporate environments, compassion is rapidly emerging as a secret weapon.

Understanding and expressing facts is not enough (although people DO want to follow smart leaders). Adding the element of emotional clarity is important as people want to know that you feel what you feel and are unafraid of naming the emotion. More importantly, they want to know that you are aware of how they feel and can hold a space for the expression of their emotions.

This involves a reframing of me to we and is a strong driver of discretionary performance. It also involves the willingness to navigate frequently between the head and the heart, understanding that business is largely driven by people who have emotions.

A unique quality of compassion is the ability to transcend empathy (powerful unto itself) and have an inner knowing of what to DO or NOT to do in a situation to be of service.

A compassionate leader has a reservoir of inner strength, rising above the ego to become vulnerable for ourselves and others.  This modeling of power is transformative.

“Compassion brings us to a stop, and for a moment we rise above ourselves.”
Mason Cooley

Your Secret Weapon

To sum it up, Compassion requires personal Courage and is a strong precursor to and follower to Curiosity. Suspending assumptions and judgement, understanding how to manage emotions (mine and yours) and having the courage of vulnerability, open discussion and transparency – there is your super secret leadership weapon.

A great result is that your employees see how you are acting and they feel safe with you. That safety permits them to give more discretionary effort which turns into engagement. Conflicts and problems are more easily surfaced and turned into opportunities. People are happier and your work, although never simple or easy, can be executed with less bumps and bruises.

Guess who else feels all of this? Your customers – the lifeline of your business. It pays in dividends to be curious, courageous and compassionate. These are all muscles that can be developed with your commitment and with practice.

There is major fire-power in this combination of Emotional Intelligence, IQ, courage, curiosity and compassion.

Where will you start?

Stay Inspired!