Living in integrity means using every “seed” that is available for planting and finding fertile soil that will nourish the seed into a tree.  And then, like Johnny Appleseed in the story of old, walking away and trusting that whomever needs that fruit will find it.  How often have I held onto old stories or self-important “wisdom” believing that not only should I plant the seed but I must also feed the fruit?  The healthy ego of a committed leader doesn’t require affirmation of wisdom.  Just like unconditional love doesn’t require proof.

To your Inspired Leadership,

Mary Pat

When I think about living in integrity, I think about being comfortable in my own skin.  Do I appreciate myself?   Do I acknowledge both my talents and my weaknesses?  Am I real about my situation?  Am I being truthful with myself?

Be present.

If I am here in the present moment, I have no choice but to live in integrity.  I only have this very moment in front of me…only these facts…only these present circumstances on which to base a choice.

The future projectile and the wondering how to control the outcome, is the addictive pull out of the present moment.  The instance that I give into the addiction of trying to control the outcome or leverage the results or predict the winner…well, there is the slippery slope out of integrity.

And I often slip.  I want to predict and figure out the odds.  I want to pretend that I am invisible and my actions aren’t observed.  I play games with myself.  I break agreements with myself.  What the integrity project is revealing to me is ME.  How often I want to do this.  How easy it is to play smoke and mirrors.  What the Integrity Project is also showing me is what it FEELS like to be out of integrity.  Feeling and action.  Choice. 

I have a vision.  I understand my values.  I’ve assessed my strengths and weaknesses.  I have to trust that I have paved the way and set the foundation for effortlessly living in the present moment.

As long as I am here and now, I am in integrity.

To Your Inspired Leadership,

Mary Pat

I move into day 4 of the Integrity Project and understand that Integrity is not about the commitment list/the to do list/the action items.  It’s not about doing, more about how I am being. 

I used to know this.  I know that I used to know this.  Somehow in the rush and hustle of today; in the excuses of economic downturn; in single parenting; in focusing on results – somehow in all of this I have lost sight of WHAT IS.

Days 2 and 3 challenged the “to-do” list.  Each of the three commitments I made each day required the commitment of another or many others to complete.  And, as the universe organized the day and the events, they remained incomplete.  “But what about my integrity?”, something inside me screamed.  “If I don’t complete it, I fail the integrity project.”

At the end of each of the days, I had a choice – make peace with where I was or allow the critical voices to cry, “fail”. 

I made peace.  Big lesson learned – integrity is being.  Oftentimes it involves doing, but at all times it is being.  And being is about joy and abandon and wonder and curiosity and connection and relationship and love.

How can I best BE today?

To Your Inspired Leadership,

Mary Pat

In an accountability email to Jenny, I wrote: 

“Today is the first day of 75 days of integrity and my focus for this time is as follows:  For the next 75 days, I will be exploring what integrity really means, how it impacts leadership, how it impacts or impedes systems and organizations and what it means to keep and break promises with the self.  In this time, I promise to write about it (short blog or facebook posts) at least three times per week.  I also intend to commit fully to no more than 2-3 things each day and then put the remaining goals/actions on a wish list. I will also review at the end of the day for personal accountability.”

I began yesterday with my three list item and five on my wish list.  Keeping in mind that the three list item is a measure of my personal accountability, I accomplished all five on the wish list, about a half dozen impromptu issues or fires, and one on the integrity list.  I was out of integrity twice (including this blog post that was promised by bedtime last night).

Where is the disconnect?  The two that I did not do or postponed had to do with ME.  What I did accomplish had to do with completing or moving things forward for OTHERS.  Sound familiar?

Integrity is at the core of great leadership.  Leaders that I admire keep agreements not only with others, but also with themselves.

Peeling back the curtain, I have to admit how easy it is to let myself down. 

Today is day 2 of the 75 Day Integrity Project.  I am a work in progress.

Would love to hear your thoughts.  As always, I Celebrate Your Inspired Leadership.

Mary Pat

Transformation is about change.  Things will only change when we allow ourselves to fully engage in conversation with others, dropping our agendas, truly seeking to understand, openly and freely sharing. 

I teach leadership communication.  Is there a formula for this deep connection?  Perhaps no real formula – for all transformation is in the moment.  But…I think about the musician who has spent years perfecting scales, fine tuning finger technique, practicing note after note after note, immersed in theory, understanding how music is arranged on paper.  All of this so that the moment of TRANSFORMATION delivered in the live performance becomes sweet music indeed. 

Shift to communication – practicing the scales of listening, fine tuning bottom line communication, perfecting the art of feedback, immersed in a deep interest in human behavior, understanding how people are wired.  This is why I still teach about communication.  These are the drills that allow for a transforming moment of conversation.  And couldn’t we all use a little more of that?

I’m turned off lately by all the marketing hype.  I think it’s there because we are not really listening, rather searching for a quick fix.  I love falling into the brain of @lizstrauss, watching @bigooga ( Lennie Rose) engage, witnessing the heartfelt connection from @shawnetv, and experiencing the joy of receiving from @teresadee.  No hype.  These souls seek out connection and relationship.   They are my models for deep conversation – meaningful and rich in relationship – with the ability to create powerful, in the moment transformation.

So…transformational conversations.  That which allows for the alchemy rich in any conversation to change those who participate. 

More musings to follow.  Please share your thoughts.  I long for a rich exchange.

To Your Inspired Leadership!

Mary Pat

Although many of us will be celebrating with fireworks and barbeques, this is also a time to take stock of where there is any inner tyranny. Where are we handing off our free will, free thought and open heart to another? Where are we looking to another for our own sovereign answers? Where have we abdicated what we know to be true for ourselves in favor of a quick fix from someone else? Where have we made another person our guru, master or teacher and absolved ourselves of our own ability to think with freedom?

In an age where many are looking for THE answer – to a job, career, business, relationship, family, whatever…….where do we need to declare FREEDOM!?! Knowing that we can always seek support from others, always enlist a helping hand….but ALWAYS – I mean ALWAYS – know our own hearts?

Freedom. Liberty. Self-rule. Happy Independence Day!

I would love to know what you are doing right now to know yourself and lead yourself. Please post your thoughts below!

To Your Inspired Leadership,

Mary Pat

I am the queen of possibilities. I see so many options that I can become paralyzed. I get stuck. Many options lead to lack of focus and the result 99% of the time is indecision.

This trap of options and indecision became so frustrating in my household that one day my youngest son looked me in the eye and said, “Mom, decide or die!” If I had to make a decision – choose one option (even if I suffered all of the anxiety of leaving all other options behind), OR DIE, what choice would I make? This approach worked. I made the decision and freed myself to move forward. Was it a perfect decision? Not sure. I do know that it was perfect for the moment because it moved me out of paralysis. If the decision was incorrect, I at least had some momentum to change course. When you need to decide, decide. Get out of your way.

Decide or Die is an appropriate battle cry for entrepreneurs and small business owners everywhere. Decisions may be imperfect, but they are not arbitrary or baseless if they are rooted in your purpose and you balance head with heart. Decide and move forward. Inertia ends. Growth begins.

Set a basis for good decision making by considering the following questions:

Use This Decision Making Process To Make A Decision:

1. On a sheet of paper, list all of the things that are important to you and would contribute to complete happiness in your life. Be very specific

Rank your happy list to your top three or four.
Put that to your left, in clear view.

2. Make a second list of the options that you are considering.

Place the list next to your prioritized happy list.
Which of the decision options honors the entire happy list?
Which of the decision options honors most of the happy list?

3. Knowing what is important to you and contributes to your happiness and also what your options are, List on a third sheet the negative impact of each of the options.

4. Compare all three lists and decide

This may sound simplistic, and it is….but terrifically effective!

One Last Hint: If you are having difficulty letting go of some options, pick one. Then file the other options away in an idea file. Review the file weekly/monthly/quarterly. As your business grows in leaps and bounds, some of those options are worth review. Others become obsolete because the clear committed action that emerged from your original decision has caused your business to shift and new considerations emerge.

Battle cry – DECIDE! Pick the worthy action and do it. Other decisions will cascade from here.

Not this year.  I began with a purge of a few things that were not serving me in my life.  Now, all of a sudden, my house is turned upside down.  Ten contractor bags graced my front lawn this morning as old, worn out, and often broken “stuff” was eliminated and tossed.

Today I’m feeling a tad depressed and I had to ask myself why.  Was I clinging to old comfortable stuff that didn’t work for me?  Did I miss an old friend of a stuffed animal?  Did I possibly think that my now 6’2″ boys would want to use the cracked kiddie pool?

Further thought has brought me to the realization that with each tossed item of “stuff”, an accompanying bit of “stuff” in my head needed to be cleared.  These are my questions:

1. Whose negative ideas do I carry around in my head that are not mine?
2. What back talk do I give myself about my body or how I look?
3. Where do I criticize myself mercilessly because I am not further along in my career?
4. What guilt do I tote about time wasted or absent minded parenting now that my kids are almost grown?
5. Where does my brain go yada yada yada about any old critical, negative or self-flagellating idea?

So, as I clear the clutter and admire the space that has been created by my relentless tossing of stuff, so do I toss the stuff in my head.  One negative idea at a time; one outdated thought at a time; one self-abusive critique at a time.  Clearing the stuff and making space for expansion, joy and maybe – just maybe – a little bit of self acceptance.  Aw heck – let’s go whole hog – how about a lot of self love.  And self love is at the heart of personal leadership.

Coming Out of the Dark

I finally see the light

And It’s shining on me

How often as the leaders of our business do we become so task oriented that we fail to shine our light in a meaningful way?  Where have we made silent agreements with others that we won’t outshine each other?  Where do we hide with a false sense of modesty that does not serve anyone?  Where do we still listen to those messages that go something like, “who do you think you are?”  Well, who DO you think you are?  I think you are as bright and as magnificent as the sun.

Many of us have forgotten how to shine.  We knew how to as little children.  Watch children at play.  There is no holding back the light of a small and delighted child.  Remember what it felt like to be you with complete abandon?  No?  It’s been a long time and we’ve had tons of programming since then.  The light that we send out has dimmed.  But…the good news is that the light still burns very brightly inside of each of us. 

Now more than ever, it is important to shine brightly and surely, from a place of inner leadership.  It models to others how we want them to show up in our businesses or in our lives.  If we all were shining at full wattage, from the inner place of love and leadership, what do you think might happen?  If every employee or assistant you had working for you refused to dim their light and rather showed up in the fullness of who they were, with all of their talents and abilities, what do you think might happen to your business?

I’m coming out of the dark right now and seeing how many years I’ve been living and working in a diminished wattage.  My light is huge, so many may not have noticed the dimming.  But I have.  I’ve seen the silent agreements I’ve made to play small, stay in the background, and minimize the risks.  No more….The lights are on.  My eyes are a little squinty because I’m not used to it yet.  I suspect I will be before long.

Live your life in the fullest place of brightly lit leadership.  With oil spills, economic downturns, compromised education systems, and all of the other challenges we face as a society….the world needs your light and your leadership.

To your Inspired Leadership!

Someone who is inspired to inspire
Someone who lives by a set of values and ethics and role-models those values each day
An inclusive visionary
A heart centered man or woman willing to collaborate from a place of vision

At the center is the HEART – the source of inspiration. 

Not the mind
Not the ego
From the place of intuitive knowledge, emotional intelligence, spiritual connection, understanding that I am part of a whole

Contemplate the 12 chambers of the Leadership Heart:

 This journey is about finding the leader who lives in each of us.

Consciously choosing to stay present in that leadership role

Staying awake

Knowing that others are watching…following

Listening to our hearts

Traveling as true Leaders Inspired